“This is your chance to be young”
“You should be having fun”
“This isn’t time to find the one”
But what if it fucking was?
What if he was it. & I gave up. & I rushed things. & I lost the opportunity forever. The fact that this is over, forever, is what’s killing me.
But once I’m hurt, I force myself to get over it because it’s easier to ignore it. But then I do this to get your attention I do this just to see if you’re checking up on me, & you are & that sucks & I can’t act like I’ll never see you again bc I will & it’s going to fucking suck. & stop caring so I can pretend that I don’t